T. FISHER UNWIN
I, Adelphi Terrace
I'm not for Free Trade, and I'm not for Protection,
I approve of them both and to both have objection.
The Gould-en Treasury
nr'HE Publisher has to thank Mr. F. G.
Gould for kind permission to repro-
duce the Cartoons in the following pages.
They appeared first in " Froissart's Modera
Chronicles/' and "Cartoons in Rhyme
[All rights reserved.]
'^''^ i API^.1906
By THE MEMBER%4£cALL^
" The Pendulum is mightier than the SWord/'
See JOE'S ELECTION ADDRESS
Second Impression — Twenty-fifth Thousand
LONDON: T. FISHER UNWIN
■> J i J t
J > ^ I
"Make your bed and lie on it.'
For Wet Blankets I and
Half Sheets ! !
1^ or Muffs I
Yarns I I and
The Famous "\A^alter" Long Clothes
for children in such matters.
For China Tee Services
(^A^eak Vv^ill-ow Pattern).
NOTICE.— In response to many enquiries Mj|f Ar thur
Balfour beg to intimate that they do NOT stock
VIEWS OF ANY DESCRIPTION.
H i V t . ... ^ ^ ' \
What Did the Little Tories Do?
Or Humpty Dumpty's Little History.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TOEIES DO?
I. — They Expanded the Empire.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TOEIES DO?
II. — They exhibited the loftiest patriotism.
Exhibition of the loftiest patriotism.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TOEIES DO?
III. — They made good the shortage of horses in the
Shortage of horses in the Army made good.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TORIES DO?
IV.— They tried to satisfy Irish aspirations.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TORIES DO?
V. — They gave themselves up entkely to the business
of the Country.
The business of the Country.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TOEIES DO?
VI. — They placed the Liquor Trade in the position
which, as they believed, Justice demanded for it.
Liquor Trade in a position more in accordance with its just rights.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TOKIES DO?
VII. — They taught us our duty to our brothers of the
Our duty to our brothers of the savage races.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TORIES DO?
VIII. — They laboured to improve the country's foreign
Efforts to improve foreign relations.
WHAT DID THE LITTLE TORIES DO?
^y means of their great law officers they sought to
carry out the
CHAMBERLAIN & SON
For every Description of the Renowned
Mr AUSTEN CHAMBERLAIN has recently
acquired large experience as the custodian
of the Nation's collection of '' brass."
Mr. LLOYD-GEORGE writes: "I have considerable
know^ledge of your unequalled brazen w^ork, and rate
it as I rate the Birmingham ' copper ' of which also
I have had experience."
We have a Special Cheap Line in Brass Railings.
THE (in) FIRn Or
TORY & COMPANY, Ltd.
having been compulsorily wound
up, the Executors have for sale a
large number of
RU55IA 5EATED CHAIR5,
And a ''CI1ILD'5'' CRIB.
«, *«'»^ """""'V,,
Beg to inform the Public that they have commenced
LIBERAL TERMS TO ALL CUSTOMERS.
We have lately had the honour to erect shelves for the
use of Mr. Balfour and friends.
N.B.— We do NOT do business on the "Times" system.
CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN & Co.
The Greytest Firm in the World.
BIRMINGHAM TOWN HALIi.
Mr. Joseph Chamberlain's Recitals
include : —
" Caller Herrin'."
" My ' Face '
is mg Fortune."
"The Blight of
include : —
' ' The Heathen
Son, my Joe -
JOSEPH & COMPANY
Coats Neatly Turned.
Try Our Special Breaches
Wonderful Waste Coats
JOSEPH & COMPANY
Reasons why you should Vote Tory
(At the time of going to press we are unable to discover any reasons.)
The tariff stores,
BKEAD 5T., CHEAP "5IDE."
The Courteous Manager.
THE TflRlFF STORES.
Our Dear Cittk CoaDCS
Our DelldDtful iUDoie i>od$.
Our Unequalled BItUr Congues.
THE TflHIFF STORES.
"However much the Union Jack may be borne aloft by the
Unionist Joe, nothing happens. The Pendulum is mightier than the
TO THE ELECTOES OF WEST BIRMINGHAM.
I regret that the Election is taking place in the winter.
Frankly, I do not like the frost. It reminds me too pain-
fully of the " frost " which three years ago attended my
Patriots in 1900.
I deeply regret, too, that at the present moment patriotism
is dead. How different were things five short 3'ears ago,
when the feelings of the nation were wrought to the noblest
Now, alas, however much I may wave the fag, however
much, in fact, the Union Jack may be borne aloft by the
Unionist Joe, nothing happens.
WAE8 ARE "OFF."
The Pendulum is mightier than the Sword. This isn't
an Army-General election.
And now to proceed. As j'ou are aware, it has always
been my conviction that there is in the nation a deep
underlying spirit of self-sacrifice. That spirit I wish to
cultivate, and with that object in view I am going to raise
the price of your bread. It is possible that as a result of
the increase in price, some of you may starve — starve to
death. But in what a cause ! I can indeed almost find
it in my heart to envy you. Yoii will he clijing for your
Finally, let me cordially invite you to my meetinf^s.
])() not stay away lest there should not be room. We can
tahe in any number.
I am, gentlemen,
Your faithful (ha ! ha !) servant,
Broken Bond Street,
TO THE ELECTORS OF EAST MANCHESTER.
I learn from a person named Long, who I understand
was in my Cabinet, that we are shortly to have what is
called a General Election. Candidly, I am a child in such
matters, but Gerald tells me that I ought to write you a
letter. Delightful weather we are having, are we not ? I
find the links though, somewhat . . . Gerald suggests that
I am forgetting that I am addressing you as your member.
But you will hardly wonder at my forgetting things some-
times, when you recall that more than once in the House I
have forgotten myself. ... It gives me great pleasure to
again come before you. You will, I am sure, forgive the
split infinitive, but everything connected with our party at
present is engaged in some kind of splitting.
I say it gives me pleasure to come before you, because
since Chamberlain has been a Tory, I have hardly ever
experienced the sensation of coming before. I have usually
A person of apparently limited intelligence has written
inviting me, as he puts it, to state my views. But how, I
venture to ask, how is it possible for me to state my views,
when I have no views to state ? I wish people would be more
reasonable. That is all I have to say.
Your obedient servant — when your commands
tally with Joe's,
A Child in such matters.
THE BEST THING
SITUATION WANTED by a young person. Any position
where knowledge of finance would not be required. —
Apply Austen C, Highbury, Birmingham.
BERTH REQUIRED by young man. Cannot say for
what employment he would be useful, but would take
anything.— St. John B.
OPENING WANTED as golf pro. by one who has for
the past five years devoted his best energies to the
game. — Apply A. B., Whittingehame.
Place of Trust Wanted by a pushful person, in the HEART
OF THE COUNTRY. No previous experience. —
Apply J. C.
Position as Professor of Chinese at one of the Universities
desired by a gentleman now at liberty.- Alfred L.,
TO THE ELECTOKS OF LEAMINGTON.
My record is simple. Though I was not at the
Treasury I had much compound interest to take up my
It has been said that I denied freedom to the Chinese
in the mines. But it is only English law that minors are
not free to do as they please. Thus am I justified.
Alfred the Great was a misjudged man, so is also
ALFRED THE LYTTEL TON.
Lyttelton's Compound Interest.
THE TDBY INCIVIL STORES
Beg to give notice that they have
transferred their business from No. 10,
Downing Street, to
No. 13, CARLTON CLUB BUILDINGS.
PLEASE NOTE THE NUMBEB.
T(i)rade will be carried on at the New Address as usual.
Try our . .
CONSERVATIVE torv mugs,
''CROCKERY." ^'° ^^'^^' ^*^-
We also sell ^ ^ ^
LANSDOWNE'S FRENCH POLISH,
of which President Loubet writes: ^^ Paris is brighter for it/'
By*Special Appointment to the Most Pushful The King of Brummagem.
THE TARIFF COMMISSION BRASS CO.
Axes Ground, Sand Ploughs a Speciality.
A New Zealand (very nearly) All Black writes: "We shall certainly patronize
your firm whenever we require our axes ground."
TO THE ELECTOES OF THE GUILDEOED
DIVISION OE SURKEY.
People ask me what I think of the situation. But
what do I care for situations. Mine's gone. I shall now
have nothing to do but read the records of my past achieve-
ments. I may say that I shall take the precaution of
wearing a suit of armour — which, by the way, at the time
of my leaving the War Office I was intending to introduce
into the Army — in case any of you should call to signify in
the usual manner your appreciation of my services.
As to my claim upon your support, I am, as Lans-
downe said to me when giving up War Office muddling,
content to leave it to you. Look at my record. Surely
there is not another quite like it anywhere. I venture to
think — you will pardon this singular departure from my
normal habit, but at such times as these one does un-
expected things — I venture to think that when you consider
all I have done, you will see that there is open to you but
ST. JOHN BRODEICK.
POLITICIANS GOING TO THE
COUNTRY SHOULD READ
The Great New Couijtry Jourijal,
The Coun-trying Times.
The Early Issues will include such Articles as the following : —
Hedging. By Joseph Chamberla.in. With Illustrations pro-
vided by AViNSTON Churchill, D. Lloyd-George, and others.
How to Ramble when in the Country. By " One Who
We think we cire betraying no confidence when we
state that the Author of this very interesting and authoritative
article, and whose identity is hidden in the above pseudonym,
is none other than Mr. St. John Brodrick.
Why I don't Care for the Country. By Arthur Balfour.
It had been hoped to illustrate this article with views,
but the Author writes to say he has none available.
Certain features of country life are divided up into
departments. Thus, there is
The Family Tree Department, Edited by Lord Salisbury,
which will include a Series of Articles as follows : —
The Poplar. By Wnj. Crooks.
The Pair. By Sir A. Acland Hood.
The Beach. By a Member of the House of Lords.
The Haw haw Thorn. By George Wyndham. Etc.
In The Farm Yard Section articles will be found upon : —
The Little Pig. By Lord Hugh Cecil.
Geese and Parrots, and How to Manage Them. By C. A.
Pearson, late President of the Tariff Keform
Then there is a Section devoted to Birds, the first article
in which being " Larks," by T. Gibson Bowles.
Other Articles in other Sections include : —
" Beans, and How to Give Them." By Winston Churchill.
" The Rosebery." By H. Labouchere.
" Haughty Culchah Notes." By G. Balfour.
Buy off the (m)akcrs.
CoUings for Farm Prodnce
MR. COLLINGS, OWNING AS HE DOES HIS OWN COW,
AND POSSESSING AS HE HAPPENS TO DO, THREE
ACRES OF PASTURE LAND, IS ABLE TO GUARANTEE
THE QUALITY OF EVERYTHING HE SELLS.
The Jesse Bird sings : " As my hair grows whiter I shall love
A large number of Seats. Apply:
Carlton Club, London, W.
out — The Tory Party.
very badly, by the ConservatiYe
Party, one valid reason for asking
the country's support. Apply :
A. Acland Hood, Westminster.
Some Extracts from the
Chronicles of Sir John Froissart
for the year 1905*
Sir Joseph de Biniiinghaiii beholdeth a lion and a
Sir Cawinell de Bannerman calletli upon the Earl of
Durdans, lord of the Clean Slate Quarries, but hndeth him
not at home.
Sir Cavvmell de Bannerman calleth.
Sir Joseph de Birmingham maketh his annual promise
of old age pensions to the people, according to the most
Annual promise of old age pensions.
Henry de Labouchere serenadeth his
fair love Frederica de Horner.
The Earl of Durdans being offered place and courtesy
by Sir Cawmell de Bannerman, he findeth greater comfort
at his plough.
The Earl of Durdans getteth upon his high horse.
Lloyd ap George being made a chief goeth with Bryn
ap Eoberts and others into Wales to fight with prelates
Sir Walter de Lonof recalletli how that while he did
muzzle dogs, Sir Arthur de Balfour did muzzle dehate.
Monk drafting a Bill.
Dr. John Clifford exhorteth the people to help to-
defeat Sir Arthur de Balfour, that the puissance of the-
Church may be lessened and justice done to the Noncon-
Sir Joseph de Birmingham departeth for London
to purchase herrings.
Sir Joseph de Birmingham requesteth his son before
leaving the Treasury to have struck a medal to celebrate
all Sir Joseph's most glorious achievements.
Sir Joseph hath great love of meddling,
UNWIN BROTHEBS, LIMITED, THE GItESHAJI PRESS, WOKING AND LONDON.
A List of Works
1. FREE TRADE.
3. POLITICAL HISTORY AND BIOGRAPHY.
4. FOREIGN AND COLONIAL POLITICS.
5. MISCELLANEOUS WORKS.
6. THE REFORMER'S BOOKSHELF.
T. FISHER UNWIN.
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